A Season of Change

Many changes swirling around me these last 24 hours.
I'm okay with it.
Change is good.

Musicals

Last night consisted of a frenzied search for downtown parking and a whole bunch of dry conversation about compensation strategies and internal equity. Not the most captivating subject matter, though I have to admit to finding the class more interesting than I expected it to be.   

I came home to J cooking up an awesome quesidilla of daiya, spinach, black beans and sweet potato, complete with homemade salsa.  This was possibly the most delicious quesidilla I've ever eaten, and it was a wonderful way to segue out of school and stress and into home and happy.  We reviewed the Netflix queue together (the actual send to the house queue) and loaded it up with all the good classic horror flix that aren't available on streaming, just in time for the onset of Halloween fun.

I got the crazy idea in my head that I would wake up at 5:30 to try to get a head start on what should be a fairly hectic day today.  This whimsical notion was cemented into a cold hard necessity thanks to the water peeps shutting off the water at 8am to dig up some pipes in the road.  I am thankful for the creepy ransom style warning taped to the door notifying us of their plans.  The alarm guy was also planing to be at the house for 7am to do some switching of landlines over to fancy new communication devices, thus allowing J to recognize his long-standing dream of being able to call Cox and tell them and their shameful customer service practices to screw.  The cosmos could not be any more in agreement with a plan to wake up early, so at 5:30 I was up. 

I stayed in bed for a few minutes.  I needed some time to process the dream I had been having as the alarm jolted me awake.  I was purchasing something (lots of things) at a store where a friend was working (she doesn't work retail in real life).  She mentioned a group of friends getting together after work and said I should come along.  I had to park a distance away from the house and I walked through a tunnel that was set up very halloween haunted house style.  As I walked I realized I had purchased a new car and I struggled with whether or not that was a good idea.  I love my car, it seemed obsurd to buy a new one... and which would I get rid of? or could I just use them both?  When I got through the tunnel a few friends were outside.  We went in and played some kind of game, complete with adult beverages.  After a little while I decided to go for a walk outside.  I wandered back out to the road, then to a trail in the woods where I was aparently so happy with my surroundings that I looked up at the moon and did a little song and dance.  A dream musical.  This is possibly the strangest dream I've had in semi-recent memory.  The dance part was more of an impromptu ballet sort of thing, and I have no idea what I was singing about.  I make no attempt to understand what my brain thinks while I'm asleep.

The early rise gave me a chance to sneak a peek at the results of my senior seminar group's global standing in our company simulation project.  It was not what we'd hoped, though now that some time has passed, I realize the results are not nearly as bad as I'd first interpreted them to be.  We have 7 weeks to acheive total global domination (we need to win this just so I can check "global domination" off my bucket list).  I will now spend much of my day analyzing charts, graphs and endless gobs (a true measure) of data to try to figure out how to massacre the competition.

I can't believe it's only Wednesday.  Still.  The weeks seem to last forever.  The weekends go by too fast.

Last of the Farmers Market Days

One of our summer/fall traditions has been hopping on our bikes each Sunday afternoon and riding over to Slater Park for the lovely little farmers market (complete with Joedega and Mijos visits).  

We go for a ride down the Greenway bike trail and back, buy some fresh fruits and veggies for the week, load up our baskets and head home.

It is a wonderful way to spend the afternoon.  

As I was riding away yesterday, I suddenly realized that this will likely be one of the last few times we'll get to do this before next Spring.

I snapped a quick photo with my phone on the way out.  I like that it showcases all my favorite things- coffee truck, taco truck, awesome local farm stands (that one straight ahead has THE best tomatoes, peaches, and corn ever), trees that stretch all the way down to the water, and the beautiful clear blue sky.

Hopefully we'll be able to get to another one before the season ends, but the upcoming month looks hectic.  If we don't make it back this year, I have this shoddy little photo to remind me how sweet these days always are.

Autumn! (and dog walks)

Welcome, Autumn, my favorite season.  Summer has treated us very well this year, but I can't tell you how happy I am to see you again! (Happy enough that I'm talking to a season, apparently)

It was a perfect weather day today.  These are the kind of days that Autumn offers more than any other season.  The air is crisp, the sun bright, but not hot.  It feels like a sweater or tank top will be equally comfortable.  The weather is just perfect.  

We started the day with a long walk, all three dogs, all over town.  We had to stop every block or so for a pow-wow, but we made it home before the afternoon was too far gone.

Lucy backed up just as the photo was taken.  Please picture her nose crammed in there between Necco and Ollie, every 5 minutes.

This is what the hours after a long dog walk looks like at our place:

Lucy, passed out on her little Queen of the House nook which she built out of pillows and blankets, entirely on her own, a few weeks back.  She loves it so much that we've let her keep it (under the condition of allowing us to give it a good vacuum and straighten whenever needed).

Ollie, passed out and snoring on the rug, about one foot in front of Lucy.

Necco, also passed out and snoring, on the couch, overlooking his sleeping buddies.

There is nothing quite as soothing as the sound of three sweet pups, snoring away after a good, long walk.  

We took advantage of the tail end of the pup comas by running some errands, which included procuring some Halloween decor for the house.  We are now prepared to bloody-goo the windows and string up some lights.  I, personally, think we need to get a real owl to come live with us if we want to do things right, but for now I'm settling for some cute little inanimate ones. (Like the little guy below who hails all the way from the North Attleboro Target).

We had plans to hit the drive-in for a horror flick double feature tonight, but opted for a night in, in exchange for a full day of fun tomorrow.  J is now making a vegetable korma, which is one seriously intense recipe and smells mind-blowingly delicious, while I am buckling down and reading a case study (obviously) for a paper that is due soon.

Doggie Daycare Kinda Day

I swear doggie day care is as good for me as it is for Lucy.  This morning I met THE most gorgeous dog I've ever seen in my life and then watched Lucy scamper off to go run wild with her little buddies.  So cute. And, as if that isn't reward enough, she will be a sleepy snuggle bunny all night tonight.

After drop-off I picked up a big hazelnut iced coffee and rolled down the windows to enjoy the practically-autumn air.  A glorious start to the morning ...or at least a glorious end to what started as a hectic morning.  I got Lucy halfway to daycare this morning when I realized she was naked (yes, I would be THE best mom to a human kid).  We were in downtown Providence traffic (so practically on our way out of the traffic) and there was no way I was turning around.  So, today Lucy got a very pretty brand spanking new collar and leash.  It's a beautiful vivid pink, pretty close to my standard lip color, actually.  We match.  I like that.

Last night J and I met up with friends at Julians to celebrate the impending (like in two days) nuptials of a dear old friend and his very lovely lady.  They moved to Portland three years ago and it was really nice to see them, and a bunch of other friends I love but don't see nearly enough (because I'm a semi-hermit).  And to see everyone and visit while downing a delicious Julian's falafel and a Full Sail Session, ..well, that's about as sweet as it gets for a Thursday night out after class.  But, I am no spring chicken these days and a night of minimal sleep weighs heavy on my poor brain.  I am impressed I've made it this far, still functioning at a relatively vertical position.

The work day was quiet and productive.  I went on an owl things frenzy at lunch thanks to Target's Halloween merch.  When I got home I picked some chives, rosemary and thyme from the garden which have turned into smooshed baked potatoes (boil, place on pan, smoosh, brush with evoo, sprinkle with seasoning and bake until lightly crisped), garlicky sauteed spinach, thyme roasted carrots, and some spicy faux-chicken.  Yum.  It's in process and I am anxiously awaiting the moment I can put a bunch of it in my belly.

J, who is the most wonderful man in the whole wide world, came home and surprised me with a pint of FoMu Pumpkin Stout vegan ice cream.  I nearly passed out fainting-goat-style from the sudden rush of excitement and total happiness.  I have been daydreaming of this stuff forever, but a trip to Boston has not been entirely easy to work out these days, so I have simply drooled at the memories, forlorn in my dreamy pumpkin stout fantasy land.  

Until now.  

The Weekend We've Been Waiting For

This summer has been a blur.  Between work, school, visitors, and assorted obligations I can't remember the last time J and I had a whole weekend of awesome, glorious nothing.  Finally, this weekend was our chance and I'm proud to say we made the most of it.

Friday night we stayed in, played with the pups, made dinner together (nooshy mac and "cheese" with a little sriracha and some lemon and garlic sauteed greens), and had a perfect quiet night at home.

Saturday called for sleeping in, a nice long walk with the dogs (well, long by Lucy's standards, at least), a late afternoon trip to Thayer for iced tea and some Nice Slice, and a trip to WholeFoods for our first official grocery shopping trip since some time in July.  This is a big deal because we have a blast at the grocery store together.  Everyone should have the opportunity to watch J pick produce just once in their lives.  He's not only a seriously handsome fella, he's a trained professional, too.  It's fun stuff.  We got home as the sun was disappearing and J decided to try out a new PPK recipe, so we hovered around the kitchen while he whipped up another delicious meal.  Two spicy ancho-lentil, sweet potato soft tacos with oodles of guac and salsa later, and we were settling in for a horror movie night with the fur kids.

I dragged my sleepy butt out of bed early enough Sunday morning to make vegan banana custard french toast before J woke up.  I haven't made this in ages, so I'd forgotten how good it is. 

Banana custard french toast (vegan), with some cocoa powder, cinnamon, maple syrup, gimme lean sausage patty, and fresh berries.

After breakfast we took a bike ride down to Slater Park for the farmers' market and art festival.  We wandered around, took the bikes for a ride up and down the Ten Mile Greenway and then picked out some veggies from the local offerings.  We stopped at the Mijos truck for a quick refuel before loading up the bikes and heading home.

When we got back we did a little harvesting from our own garden.  We wound up with enough basil for J's signature pesto, which could only mean very exciting things for our dinner prospects. 

The week's garden crop of veggies

Walnut pesto in the making. Dreamy.

After making a vat of pesto, he tossed a few tablespoons in with a bunch of fresh veggies and some whole wheat pasta for an incredibly tasty dinner.

We finished out season 4 of Breaking Bad, lamented the end of the weekend, and now, somehow, I'm already done with Monday's work day (and excitedly counting down till Friday, once again).

Possessions and Stir-Frys

Last night we went to a 10ish showing of Sam Raimi's The Possession with a couple friends.  We got sucked into some yardwork during the earlier part of the evening and didn't even start thinking about dinner until somewhere around 8:30.  J decided to "whip up something on the fly" which turned into chick peas crisped in garlic, basil, and paprika, stir fried veggies (including purple beans from the garden), and cous cous.  Completely delicious.  

Sweet and timid Necco stalked at the kitchen entrance, mesmerized and somewhat alarmed by the commotion, yet ever-hopeful that he might be needed for floor clean up.  

This is the face of a curious and concerned pup stationed at the kitchen door, hoping for a dropped sweet potato to come his way:

The movie was not amazing, but it was fun.  I gave up on being a horror flick critic long ago.  It's so hard to find a really good one these days, that I figure I might as well just have fun with what's available (as much as possible.  Some are definitely beyond hope).  The dybbuk box was pretty, the two little girls were the best actors of the movie, The Comedian reminded me of Javier Bardem throughout, the dybbuk looked an awful lot like Gollum, and Matisyahu made for a fun Hasidic hipster/exorcist.  I liked the concept... so there's that.

The Siren's Call

Caffeine and carbs.

This is what me cutting back on caffeine and carbs looks like:

It's also what today's breakfast looks like.  It was delicious. 

I am hoping the caffeine of a good cold brewed dark roast will jump start my metabolism (or at least my activity level) enough to counter the impact of two big pieces of toasted italian bread drowning in earth balance.

I recognize the laws of science are not fully in my corner here, so I am also planning to enjoy the evil indulgence and promise myself not to do it again any time in the near-ish future.

Grudge

I come from a large Italian family (on my mom’s side). My grandmother’s brothers and sisters were always engulfed in drama. There were grudges that were held over things that happened so long ago that no one was even sure exactly what the reason was anymore. A couple of them even died without speaking to their grudge-targeted sister(s) or brother for decades. Completely mind blowing.

I grew up understanding that grudges are the weapon you use to let someone know that something they did once caused you great offense and now you refuse to acknowledge their existence. I also grew up understanding that grudges are a tool of self-absorbed drama queens who don't hold themselves responsible for their own behavior. The grudge holder is never, in their eyes, the one who is behaving badly. The situation is not their fault.

This sudden ponderance of old family history and human drama dynamics was brought on by a long train of thought that grew out of a daydream about baked eggplant parm. It left me thinking of the big Sunday family dinners and how so many of my great aunts and uncles are gone now. It made me think of grudges and vendettas in general. I make an effort to not be angry with anyone for any amount of time longer than it takes me to realize that I'm holding onto something that I shouldn't. 'Forgive, forget, and move on' is a million times healthier than 'be angry, bitter, fill yourself with hate and hold it all in until your mind and body deteriorates from all the negative energy coursing through your viens'.

I once dated a guy who was quick to write people off. I knew this when I first met him. There were many signs screaming “nothing is ever his fault, he’s always the victim and he never forgives” that I should have heeded. But, naturally, I didn't. It took me years to wise up. People just don't change. At least, they don't change unless they have a strong drive to correct the problem. And, of course, for that to happen they have to first be willing to acknowledge the existence of the problem. It took me a long time to realize that no matter how much I hoped for some miracle behavior changes, they weren't going to happen.

I spent the last two years of that relationship struggling to find a reason to trust Mr Ex. Trust had been a very big problem ever since an early morning cell phone alarm mishap left me staring at some raunchy boobs attached to a text about a lunch date. He explained away everything, always accusing me of making a big deal out of nothing.

I’ve never been a snooper, but once you stumble onto something like grody booby lunch all the rules go out the window. Over the years his phone was ripe with incriminating evidence sent from some less than classy ladies. Besides the revealing (and sometimes just plain gross) photos, there were super flirty conversations with a handful of silly girls who each seemed to be of the impression that they were special (you know, like special enough to be the only one he’d try to hook up with behind his girlfriend’s back).

When confronted, he lied to me over and over again.  Then, of course, he took the innocent victim approach of password locking his phone and hiding it.  Again, to him, everything was my fault.  I shouldn't have snooped.  He seemed to be of the mindset that if I didn't see it, it didn't happen.  So, obviously, I totally screwed up by making it all happen... or something like that. 

Needless to say, we finally broke up. When I look back on it, I'm disappointed by how long it took me to finally leave such an unhealthy situation. But everything is a lesson, and I have certainly learned some valuable ones.

He doesn't speak to me anymore. One of the last things he said to me was that he was upset because I had embarrassed him. I met someone, someone incredibly special to me who is honest, open, loving, thoughtful - all those things that for so long I'd wished for. I met him weeks after ending things with Mr Ex, but apparently this caused Mr Ex some sort of embarrassment. I can only assume this would not be the sort of embarrassment one would feel after discovering their significant other had been disrespecting them for years with an assortment of trollops, but some other kind, I guess.

The thought of holding a grudge over it all doesn't make sense to me. I am happier now than ever before and I am grateful beyond words for it. I assume that everything had to happen for me to get to where I am now. And where I am now is the best place I've ever been. There is still a little a part of me that wants to backhand Mr Ex for the way he treated me, but that part continues to diminish over time. There is a bigger part of me that hopes he's actually found some happiness (and the ability to treat his new girl respectfully). I wish them well (and I wish her a whole heaping load of intuition and awareness).

A Sight for Tired Eyes (and a hungry belly)

Cutest guy in the world, roasting veggies by the hammock, framed by a summer ale.

(I've chosen to not mention the poor composition and assorted photo unpleasantries that are the result of a beach day weary girl excitedly jumping around and babbling about the evening's plans while aiming a camera)

http://instagr.am/p/PMqpkuJL4H/

Not a bad way to say goodbye (for now) to summer.

I love summer. The entire season feels like it flew by in a blink this year, which makes me a little sad.  But as much as I will definitely miss sunshiny beach time and running around in tank tops and sandals, I am beyond excited for autumn's arrival. We have some fun things in the works for this fall and I'm ready to get started.

Last Weekend (sort of)

Labor Day Weekend.

It's the last weekend of summer (sort of & not really) and it's the last weekend J's parents are here before they head home to Florida.

We decided to dedicate the weekend to hanging with J's parents since even though they've been up here for a while it really didn't feel like we'd spent much quality time with them.

J's dad wanted to take us to an exotic plant shop and greenhouse in Connecticut, so we headed over there Saturday.

I completely fell in love with the place.  It was a lush and vivid horticulturist's fantasy.  So pretty, such interesting looking plants and flowers, so many greenhouses just packed full of fascinating things.  I would have dropped a ton of money, but I paired my choices down to a collection of really cool succulents and a few harty plants that can be kept inside, since we are heading into New England winter soon enough.

 On Sunday we all went to Matunuck for a day at the beach. We had our amazing beach gear from the cape trip, so mom and dad were comfy with the giant beach blanket, big umbrella, two adjustable chairs, and big fluffy beach towels, while J and I played in the waves.

I have a rough beach floor phobia (I get completely skeeved when walking over rocky, pebbly ground once in the water) so J piggy backed me past the rough patch three times.  He's a dream, no doubt.

Once we left the beach we headed to Lastrada for pizza and wine.  All in all, it was a pretty sweet day.

Monday morning J made an amazing vegan brunch of the fluffiest vegan pancakes, tasty home fries and lots of fresh fruit.  His parents decided to get everything ready for their departure Tuesday moning, so they told us to go have some fun and they'd keep an eye on the pups while we were gone.

We racked the bikes and headed to East Providence where we picked up the East Bay Bike path.  We were only going to ride it to Warren, but once we got there we decided to keep going.  We went past Colt State Park, then turned back and rode around the park for a while, enjoying the warm sun and cool breezes from the water.  We found a somewhat quiet shady spot and had a little impromptu picnic before heading back to EP.

We took our tired bodies and our voracious appetites to Rasoi for dinner before heading home where we visited with J's parents for a while before calling it a night.

His mom and dad are leaving this morning which means we're going to have some majorly bummed pups when we get home from work today.  J's mom has been walking Lucy every morning so I think tomorrow I'll be waking up a half hour earlier than usual to try to keep the tradition going.  I'm quite sure that Lucy will give me an earful (and some seriously sad puppy eyes if I don't).

A Fashionable Basset

Lucy does surgery recoup right.

I love the holy heck outta this sweet little pup.